Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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