Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I think I just sharted jello shots
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
