my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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