last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Randomize
