i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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