Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
