I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
