its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize