He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize