But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
we made out on top of his cat.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
