Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
