I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
