i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
