David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
