she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
