I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
