Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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