Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
