he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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