That's intense
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
