No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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