I think I died a long time ago.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Enjoy the penises
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
