Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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