In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
