If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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