two words: eviction party
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
