Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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