yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
