peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
