I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
