I wannas sexs uuuuu
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
