Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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