is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I AM VODKA MAN
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
