singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
