handjob tips. give me some.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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