Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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