Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Randomize
