her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
