Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
