Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize