Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
