Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
