two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
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