Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I think I am morally bankrupt
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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