best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
