I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
