just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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