ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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