So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
