Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
