Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
