you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize