That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
