Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is Oprah even human
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
