I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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