I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
