He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
