Kiss
Puke
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
